Writings of Emily Boswell
Blog and Portfolio
My last blog post had a positive ending but it was a bit of a bummer. When I wrote that I was in a very stressed out place. Since then a pandemic hit, my good friend has gotten engaged, and Charles and I have moved into our own apartment. It's decorated, it's cute, it's cozy, and it's all ours. Looking back on it I'm grateful I wasn't accepted into any MFA programs. Going to an entirely new state, a new school, a new program, a new home all in the middle of a pandemic? It sounds like a nightmare. It's clear to me now that this wasn't the right time to be pursuing higher education. Now it is time to settle into my new home, and to seek growth in my personal, creative and professional life. So far I've been working on 2 out of 3, so not too bad. Now that things are calming down after the move in July, I want to get back into the creative side of things. My plan is to download the writing app Scrivener and take my rough, hand written outline draft and make it digital. The next question is do I try and handwrite the whole book or go straight to typing it up? I think handwriting in creative writing has a lot of merits. Being on a computer means access to the internet for one thing and that is always distracting. Writing in a notebook forces you to sit down and just, write. There's less distractions and you're less likely to edit as you go. It's a great way to get out that first draft without putting too much pressure on yourself for it to be perfect. I came here to update my website. I'm going to add a professional side to it and include my resume and some of the content writing I've done. I saw my last blog post and the sad face I was making in the photo attached to it and thought, no, that can't do. It's been far too many months since I've written a new, train of thought rambling blog post and it was time for something new. Something new and something from an Emily that is feeling much healthier and happier today than she was in May.
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I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I'm disappointed. Last year I applied to five Master of Fine Arts Programs in Creative Writing. This was going to be the next big step as a writer, and towards a career as a professor of creative writing. One rejection came in, then another, and another, until all five schools had given me no's. I was bummed, but not surprised. MFA programs are extremely competitive, and due to financial constraints I was only able to apply to a few. But it was still a major blow to my self-esteem. For a couple months I questioned if this was the right path for me. I wondered if I should apply to different programs and consider a different career path. Should I get a Masters in English? Should I teach high school? Should I teach at all? Am I really as good of a writer as I think I am? I finally told my husband, Charles my doubts. He asked if I really wanted a different degree. Did I want anything other than this MFA? I didn't, I don't. My gut twists up at the thought of settling. He said, so what's the point? He's right. There is no other option. Then of course the Coronavirus hit and oh boy, I can't even imagine having to plan moving to another state and starting grad school right now. I would have probably had to turn down a dream program even if I got in. My mindset started shifting from self doubt, to relief. Staying here another year means we can focus on paying off debts, and better preparing ourselves for a big move. I get to spend another year in Michigan with my friends, be here for my cousins wedding in October, and be close by for my mom's upcoming surgery. Charles recently graduated with his degree in Art Education and can now fully focus on work and gaining valuable teaching experience. We'll also have a chance to save up more money, and I can apply to several more schools. Not to sound too cheesy, but it does feel like everything happens for a reason. This just wasn't the right time. Creatively speaking there's a lot to be thankful for too. I'm taking that frustration, that doubt, that self-hate and I'm using it as fuel. I'm reading more, I'm revising more, and I'm writing more. It's a strange, scary time right now being in the midst of a pandemic, but 2020 is shaping up to be a major year for writing. I will put together stronger applications, I will apply to more schools, and I will get into an Master of Fine Arts program. I'm hopeful. I'm motivated. I'm determined. Hello there readers, I was thinking about what to write for this weeks post and I was reminded of a conversation I had with my husband yesterday. We were discussing something I saw on Twitter. Someone asked the #WritingCommunity what their least favorite writing advice is. Several people said they hated hearing, "write what you know." One person claimed we wouldn't have great fantasy works like A Song of Ice and Fire, or Lord of the Rings. I can see where the distrust in this common saying comes from, but there should be none. Writing what you know isn't meant to be taken literally. Anyone who writes already writes what they know, even in the most wild works of fantasy. Take for example Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I'm reading the collection for the first time, and it's brilliant. It's a wild space adventure, set far from Earth, and far away from our reality. But it was inspired by real life. I recommend reading about it yourself, but basically the author was given his own hitchhikers guide while traveling. That book, and those experiences, were the spring board for one of the most famous sci-fi series ever written. These stories began because he wrote what he knew. That's a very specific example, and I could go into more detail, but I don't want to write an essay and bore anyone who's reading this to death. All writers do this, even if you don't realize you are. (Although I would argue, your story would be stronger if you did it purposefully, but I won't go into that.) We take stories and characters from people we meet, politics, history, our own relationships, heartbreaks, our hometown quirks, etc. The advice of writing what you know isn't meant to limit you, but to inspire you. It's saying, "Take these real life experiences, and all that encompasses, (big and small) and use it to lay the ground work for something magical." This isn't meant to be a dis on anyone. It's my take on what I believe to be an extremely useful writing tool. One that is often misconstrued. And apologies for the amounts of time I said, write, writing, or advice. It was plenty. Hello readers, I'm stressed. (What's new?) Real life has been less stable than I'd like. I like routine, I like when things go as planned, and when a wrench gets thrown into that, it wears me out. I know that just sounds like life and I should expect a lot of it in the future, but it's tiresome nonetheless. There is a positive though: It makes me realize how important something like this blog is. It gives me a task to look forward to besides my 9-5 job. It might not be written perfectly, or heavily revised or planned out, but that's okay. It isn't meant to be. This might feel like a repeat of last week's topic, and in a lot of ways it is. Staying motivated is an everyday challenge, and even more so when you're not feeling at your best, be that mentally or physically. But what I'm coming to understand as I write this, is that these special, personal hobbies are even more important when you're down and out. Making time to do things for you, be it writing, knitting, making music, etc. are like mental anchors amidst a storm. I feel like I should add here that I'm in no way trying to make anyone feel bad for not sticking to good habits or for taking a break from things they love. There's any number of reasons why that would happen, and that's okay. Everyone's mental health journey is different, and I'm not here to judge yours. So I'm going to keep challenging myself to crawl out bed in the morning, no matter how tempting that warm bed looks, and I'm going to keep writing until my short story is finished and ready for an audience. I hope that you can find a craft or hobby too, or get back to an old one you used to love. And I hope it serves to bring you even just a little bit of happiness in this sometimes dark world. Hello again readers! This is the second (rambling) blog in what I hope to be many more. I'm a day late in writing it, which goes along perfectly with this blogs theme. Motivation. I've been struggling to stay motivated the last few days, and I've been feeling sorry for myself for it. It's only 12:30 on a Tuesday and it already feels like this week has been a month long. I'm feeding bad habits, and I hate it. I'm not resisting the snooze button, I've taken advantage of working from home and wake up with only a few minutes before I need to begin my day, I'm not eating good breakfasts, and it's not benefiting me in any way. It makes me feel like a bum. So why do I keep doing it? Because it's easy. Now it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself. Wanting to do better, wanting to change, wanting to be a brilliant productive writer, isn't enough. I need to actually do it. There's been mornings where I got up early, I grabbed some coffee, and laid in my bed with my laptop and just wrote. It was wonderful. It changed my whole perspective on the rest of my day. I felt accomplished, and confident. Why did I stop? Because crawling back into bed and hitting that snooze button is so much easier. Being productive and motivated feels great, but it's the harder choice. There will always be off days, but if I could make those days the exception, instead of my norm, I think I would be happier. So here's to making the harder choices. Here's to feeling better about myself. Here's to not just talking about wanting to do more, but actually doing it. And I know I can do it, and if you're struggling with the same things, I know you can do it too. Hello readers, My name is Emily and I've decided it's time for a change. But first, a little background on me. I'm a 26 year old woman living in Michigan with my husband, mother, and two pet rats Pepper and Petunia. We moved back home after I graduated college and we were struggling to make ends meet. Thankfully for my gracious mom, my husband, Charles Boswell (check out his website here: https://boswellarted.weebly.com/) will be able to finish his last two semesters at Grand Valley where he's studying to become an art teacher! We're not sure where we'll end up after that, but we hope it's somewhere sunny and warm. I like video games, binging sessions on Netflix, reading and feeling guilty for not reading enough, and I've been falling back in love with writing short stories. Someday in the near future I hope to be enrolled in a Master of Fine Arts program in Fiction so I can begin working towards a career as a professor of creative writing. Now what about this website? This is my new writers portfolio, and also a new blog. I tried my hand at this blogging thing in high-school once, and it was full of strange, teenagery, probably trying too hard to be cool, stuff. For this blog, I'll try to keep it more honest and coherent. My plans are for a sort of writers diary that is open to the public. It took me about two years after graduating college with a degree in writing to write anything new. I went back and edited old stories, I even submitted an application to the University of Michigan's MFA program. (I didn't get in.) But I hadn't written anything new. Looking back, I'm relieved I wasn't accepted. I needed more time to find my passion in writing again. I was rushing into submitting a portfolio because I felt like I was losing a race to adulthood. Also, Ann Arbor is crazy expensive and there's no way we could have afforded that anyways. It took me some time, but I started writing a new short story inspired by my time working at a sub shop. I went back to basics with pen and paper. Progress was slow, but eventually I had a finished draft. Several months later I'm finally working on a draft that I will feel confident enough to share for feedback. There's much more I could say here, but I'm going to stop the ramblings there and save more thoughts and stories for later. My goal is weekly blog posts, so if you thought this was interesting tune in next week! |
AuthorEmily Boswell is a Michigan writer and digital marketing manager. She enjoys writing short stories and flash, and is currently working on her debut novel. Archives
September 2020
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